I’m pretty sure my new neighbour now thinks I’m an alcoholic.
Just to give you some context, I’m one of those people who never gives in to illness, so I refuse to admit that I am in any way experiencing menopause symptoms, even though I keep finding myself wandering around the house in my bra and pants this winter. I keep blaming the new central heating system, despite the fact that my other half is bundled up in a blanket huddling in front of the fan heater. I am not having hot flushes!
So at the housewarming party of our new neighbour, wearing a full length Victorian dress, I was having a lovely time, despite being rather warm – they have a new central heating system too. The room was full of people and as the fun started the temperature rose to the point where I was feeling rather clammy.
Then all of a sudden I started to feel extremely unwell – and please bear in mind that I’d only had one very small glass of white wine at this point, so I was not in any way squiffy – but I suddenly felt very hot and decidedly not right. Cutting short an interesting conversation with a very nice lady I found my way to the hall where my other half stared at me wondering what the heck was wrong. My first thought was to get to the bathroom where I could lock myself in and be ill in private because that’s how my mind works. But realizing I wasn’t going to be able to make it up the stairs I lurched for the front door, and on hitting the cool evening air I promptly fainted. Now I have never fainted before, and I don’t ever want to again – it was really unpleasant. To my credit I managed to stay upright by clinging to the front door, and for a brief moment I felt absolutely lovely – all floaty and dreamy. But then I opened my eyes and saw my new neighbour, let’s call her Cleo, staring at me, but I was unable to articulate that I was not drunk, just hideously overheated.
Back at our house after a cool shower and a pint of iced water I felt absolutely fine, but my other half refused to let me go back to the party wearing a bikini, which was probably wise as I don’t think it was that sort of party and at no time had we been asked to put our car keys into a bowl. The new neighbours seem like nice people, although they’re probably thinking twice about their new neighbour who they probably think is a lush, while I adamantly refuse to admit I had a major hot flush and continue blaming overly efficient central heating systems for my symptoms.